Finding the Way Back Home
by joanna77
Summary: An AU story. Donna left Josh after Noel.


**A/N: This is something I had on my mind for a long time. I'm working on the last chapter of **_Moss for America_**, and there are still more to come for my other fic **_A Future Worth Living For_**. If you like this story, please leave a review. Thanks.  
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* * *

**Finding the Way Home **_  
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_Leave it all in the past and move on  
You might find your way home...  
(Candlebox: Step Back)_

The shopper-filled streets scared Josh a bit, but he braved the biting wind and plowed on. He wanted this shopping tour behind him as soon as possible. He still couldn't believe that he was setting foot in an antiquarian bookshop again. Although not willingly. His significant other, as she tended to introduce herself, said it would be best they split up. And while she was looking for appropriate gifts for her mother and sister, Josh had to look for a suitable book for his… whatever.

Josh didn't know why he was in New York, shopping for Christmas gifts, but then again, he rarely knew nowadays why he did one or the other thing. He was drifting and he knew it. He knew he should have proposed already, they were together for what seemed like ages, but he didn't seem to be able to bring the subject up. Not even to himself. He liked her very much, but wasn't sure it was enough to build a marriage on his feelings for her. Something was missing. Something in his heart told him he shouldn't.

He stepped into the bookstore. The smell was familiar, just like the shop assistant. Josh assumed every old bookstore looked and smelled the same, and that they employed the same kind of people. The walls were lined with shelves. The shelves themselves were brimming with books. And they all looked old. Josh never understood President Bartlet's fascination with antique books but knew better than to joke about it. He learned that the hard way.

"May I help you?" The shop assistant apparently deemed him worthy of his attention.

"Yes, indeed. I'm looking for a book," Josh said and then cringed at his own words. What else would have brought him here?

"Aren't we all?" the assistant asked, and Josh let out an exasperated sigh. 'Great, a freaking existentialist!' "A special book or a book for a special someone?"

"I'm looking for a book for my girlfriend's father," Josh said.

"What are his interests?" the assistant asked back immediately.

"Well, really anything that costs more than five hundred bucks," Josh said and wished immediately to sink in a hole in the floor. He didn't want to criticize Tara's father in front of a stranger, he was sure Thomas Turner was a nice man. Even if he had expensive taste. And a spoiled daughter. Josh didn't know where that thought came from, but he realized it wasn't the first time he thought Tara was a spoiled brat. He briefly wondered why he stayed together with Tara, but then dismissed the notion of a break-up. It was better than to be alone. Everything was better than to be alone. He never wanted to feel that kind of despair when… He stopped himself just before the name popped into his mind. "He is interested in hunting."

"Well, hunting and fishing are in that section over there, sir," the shop assistant said. "Would you like me to help you find something?"

"That would be great," Josh said enthusiastically. He didn't want to spend hours with this errand; he still wanted to get something for CJ and Sam.

The shop assistant debated under his breath what would be the best bet, and Josh wandered into the next section. Everywhere he looked there were books about boats and ships. He picked out an illustrated book on sailing that seemed interesting (Gordon Grant: Sail Ho! Windjammer Sketches Alow and Aloft). He wandered further off to find something for CJ too and suddenly found himself in the winter sports section. His previous trip to another store popped into his mind. He sped up a bit and soon he was skimming the book under the letter 'B'. There he was, Heimlich Beckengruber. He reached out but then pulled back his fingers.

"I found something, sir," the shop assistant caught up with him. "Ah, you found something else?"

"This is for my friend," Josh said, pointing at Sam's book.

"You are a fan of winter sports?"

"Not exactly. But I knew someone once who was," Josh said with a fond smile. Images of swaying blonde hair and a willowy figure filled his mind, and he felt a sudden ache deep in his heart. He quickly pulled off the book from the shelf and together with Sam's book he thrust it into the hands of the assistant.

After giving him back his credit card, the assistant wished him Happy Holidays, and Josh stepped onto the street. He wanted to open the book, but he deliberately delayed the moment. A long not felt excitement pumped adrenaline through his veins. First, he wanted to get the other gifts, only then would he allow himself the luxury of wallowing in the past. He quickly scanned the area and spotted a small, delicate shop that sold perfumes. He stepped inside and inhaled deeply. The cacophony of scents hit his nose and attacked his senses. But it was a definite improvement compared to the musty smell of the bookshop.

"Good morning, sir. May I help you?" a young woman greeted him with a big, but genuine smile.

"Definitely," Josh said with a self-deprecating smile. "I'm quite undereducated in perfumes."

"No need to worry, sir," the girl reassured him. "You are looking for women's perfume?"

"Yes," Josh said with a nod.

"How old is she?"

"Around forty," Josh said. "She is very tall."

"Is she sexy or classy?"

"Both, I think," Josh said. "It depends."

"I see. What would you say if I asked you what her most characteristic trait was?"

"She is witty," Josh said.

"Okay," the girl said and went to a shelf at the other end of the store. "What do you think, would she wear this perfume during the day or at night?"

"She attends many evening events, theater plays and concerts and balls," Josh said.

"I see. Here is a beautiful perfume for evening wear. It's dominated by ylang-ylang and plum, the base note is sandalwood."

"It's very nice," Josh said.

"It's our own product, sir," she said.

"Do you have any shops in the DC?"

"No, sir. One in New York and one in London."

"This is good. Do you have something fresh and sunny?"

"Of course, sir," the girl nodded.

Josh left the shop with three bottles of perfume and a firm resolution. There was one bottle for CJ, one for his mother and one just for him. For the approaching lonely nights. He decided he wanted to end this relationship with Tara. He knew he would hurt her to break up just before Christmas but he suddenly felt like he was suffocating. He called her and told her to meet him in their hotel room in half an hour.

"Josh, never call a woman and tell her 'we have to talk', it sounds like…" Tara said as she stepped into the suite. "Yeah, exactly as you look like. What's the problem?"

"I think we should end this before we start hurting each other. I haven't met your parents, and maybe that's for the best. I'm sorry to do this before Christmas but I couldn't wait any longer," he blurted out, not even stopping for taking a breath.

"Josh, what is this? You don't want to meet my parents, fine," Tara said. "You don't have to break up with me because of that."

"It's not your parents, Tara. It's us. It's me," Josh corrected himself. "I think you should have a boyfriend who could give you what you want."

"And what do I want, Josh?" Tara asked him, and he couldn't miss the sarcastic undertone in her voice. Josh never heard her being sarcastic before.

"Marriage," Josh said.

"And you don't want to marry me?"

"I like you, Tara, but I don't want to marry you," Josh said in brutal honesty.

"Fine. Should I move out of our hotel room, or…"

"I will. I bought a book for your father," Josh said. "I'm sorry, Tara. I really am."

"Forgive me for not believing you right now," she said.

"Okay," Josh said and picked up his still packed suitcase and the two shopping bags.

He checked out of the hotel, paying for two nights even when he didn't spend more than two hours in the room. He wandered around for a while and then called Toby to ask for a good hotel in New York. CJ was in his friend's office so he was soon put on speakerphone. CJ and Toby debated which hotel they should recommend. They finally came to a decision, and then CJ asked him why they didn't reserve a hotel room in advance. Josh told her they did and that he needed one because he broke up with Tara. CJ congratulated him; Toby said he always knew Josh would grow up. CJ retorted that he really didn't. At that point Josh saw fit to hang up. He took a cab to the hotel his friends recommended and then checked in. He sat down on the edge of his hotel bed and stared at "The Art and Artistry of Alpine Skiing."

He opened the book and his heart stopped for a minute. His own writing greeted him from the first page. Josh did a double take and shook his head to clear his mind, he was undoubtedly imagining things. He pinched himself and it hurt. He caressed the page at the spot where his writing was smudged. It was a shape of a perfect circle. The sign of a tear drop of long gone times. He tried to read his words, although he knew the inscription by heart. He remembered the hug the gift elicited. He remembered her face as she read his message. He didn't know back then that he was in love with her. No, the realization came later. One year later, when she took him home from the hospital where they gave him a couple stitches to close the wound on his palm.

And now, three years later, he admitted that she was the only one he would have married. Finally putting aside his hurt because she left him, Josh slipped into his coat once again and left his hotel. He directed his steps towards the bookstore he visited earlier. He asked the shop assistant whether they kept detailed records of their buying and selling, but the assistant only shook his head. Josh showed him the book, and asked him whether he knew when it was sold to them. He opened a big ledger at the letter 'B' and skimmed the page for 'Beckengruber'. According to the datum, she must have sold it the day she arrived in New York City. Josh wondered why she sold it.

Did she really hate him so much that she didn't want to have any reminders of him around her? Or did she need the money that much? If the latter was true, why didn't she call him? She should have known he would have helped her. He remembered her letter of resignation, every word. She cited personal reasons, and Josh assumed she got tired of him. She must have really hated him if she didn't want to ask for his help. He was preoccupied with his hurt at that time, and now he cursed himself for being the egotistical jackass Mandy always accused him of. He played the victim; he put on a spectacular display of suffering. He struggled with the temps and his new assistant whom he called 'secretary', and never trusted the way he trusted Donna.

But now, he was determined to find her. Even if it took a year or ten, he would find her. He asked the assistant for the phone book and opened it up at Moss. There were three Donna Mosses but no Donatella Moss. He noted all three numbers, thanked the man and then looked for a café. He called the three Donnas but had no luck. And then his phone rang, it was Leo.

"Hi, Leo, what can I do for you on this fine morning?" Josh asked his boss.

"Well, for one, don't be so chipper. CJ just left with Margaret, and as I happened to stand outside my office when she arrived I heard that you ended your relationship with Ms. Tara Turner."

"Yeah, your ears didn't deceive you," Josh confirmed.

"Well, we all have to act like a man every once in a while," Leo remarked, reminding Josh on a conversation he had with Toby when Donna left.

"Well, yeah. I told her I couldn't marry her," Josh said. "I think that pretty much ended the thing."

"Why didn't you want to marry her? You told me you were thinking about it."

"And I was. But I realized I couldn't marry her because I wasn't in love with her."

"Yeah," Leo said non-committally. "Listen, when are you coming back?"

"I don't know, Leo. I'm on a mission here," Josh said.

"A mission?"

"Long story," Josh said.

"I have time and I'm already hip-deep in your private life anyway," Leo offered.

"I want to find Donnatella Moss."

"Donna Moss? Your former assistant?" Leo asked back incredulously.

"I didn't know you remembered her." Josh was perplexed.

"Yeah, I remember her. She is working at the Mayor's Office now," Leo said.

"How do you know?"

"She asked me for a letter of recommendation," Leo said. "I thought she asked you too."

"No, she didn't," Josh said, feeling the by now familiar ache in his heart again.

"So you want to find her?"

"Yeah," Josh confirmed.

"Well, good luck, kid," Leo said and then hung up.

* * *

"There is a Josh Lyman here for you, Donna," Anita Hunter called up. 

"Who?" Donna asked quite taken aback. She had been waiting for this visit for two years, and now that he was here, she didn't know how to react. Be relieved or get anxious? She couldn't decide.

"Joshua Lyman. He says he is an old friend of yours," Anita said.

"Yeah, he is, at that. You can send him up, Anita. Thank you," Donna said and once she replaced the receiver, she sprung up and hurried to the chief of staff's bathroom. She looked into the mirror and shook her head. Why did it matter that Josh saw her at her best? She didn't know why he was here, but one thing was sure. He was in a serious relationship with someone named Tara who was an Ivy League educated woman and also quite the beauty. There was no use in pretending that he would notice whether her make-up was impeccable or she had lint on her jacket.

She stepped into the ante-room of the chief of staff's office and took place at her desk. She looked down at her watch; Josh was surely taking his sweet time. When ten minutes passed, she stood up to step out into the floor and look for him, just when he stepped in. Accompanied by the deputy chief of staff to the Mayor of New York City.

"Donna, you didn't tell me you knew Josh Lyman," Zack Rosenthal told her.

"Yes, Donatella, you didn't tell Zack you knew me," Josh said with a glint in his eyes that he couldn't place.

"Well, I didn't want to brag about the good old days," Donna said, not quite knowing what to say. She wished Zack would get lost; she wanted to face Josh alone. She wanted to show him how far she had come and now she was standing there, not knowing what to say.

"Were they?" Josh asked Donna, looking into her eyes intensively.

Zack's cell phone interrupted them before Donna could formulate an answer to that.

"Sorry, I have to take this. Josh, take care. Donna, I'll see you next week?" Zack asked.

"Of course," Donna said with a nod. "Hi, Josh," she greeted the man of her many dreams.

"Donatella," he uttered her name in some kind of awe. She didn't know what brought him here, but she could clearly see he was just at a loss as she.

"It's good to see you, Josh," Donna said then after gathering all her wits. She didn't want to stand there and look at him like he was the Eighth Wonder of the World. There was a time she thought of him that way, but not anymore. She still respected him, she still admired him, but she no longer looked at him like he discovered the cure for cancer.

"Well, it's good to see you too, Donna," Josh returned. "You look fantastic," he added then in a low voice.

"Thanks," Donna said and felt her face flush slightly. "What brings you here?"

"Well, I was in town and then the strangest thing happened," Josh started. "I went into a bookstore, you know, one of those funny smelling ones…"

"An antiquarian bookstore?" Donna helped him out and was rewarded with a grin.

"Yes, Donatella," Josh said. "And I found this book there. The book I gave someone three years ago. And I took that as a sign. Not that I needed any signs, there weren't any days in the past three years I didn't think of that person. Not a single day I didn't miss her."

"Then why didn't you visit her?" Donna asked, getting a bit angry.

"False pride and obstinacy, I guess. And then there was guilt. Hurt. Pain. The overwhelming feeling of loss," Josh listed.

"And you didn't think that by looking for me you would be relieved of the pain, that the loss wouldn't be that overwhelming?"

"I told you I was obstinate," Josh said in defense. "Listen, I don't want to do this here, could we talk somewhere more private?"

"Well, my day officially ended five minutes ago, so you might want to come with me. My car is waiting; we'll have plenty of time to talk on the way home."

"Okay," Josh agreed immediately.

They went for Donna's car and got in. Donna found it quite peculiar that Josh didn't ask why she needed a car, but then again, he had never lived in New York City and didn't know better.

"I'm sorry I showed up without calling," Josh apologized.

"It's okay, Josh," Donna reassured him. She didn't mind he showed up, she only minded that he waited too long. "What brought you to New York City?"

"Well, it's a long story."

"We have time," Donna told him.

"I don't want to waste it on this. Okay, long story short," he said then after Donna threw a warning glance at him. "I had a girlfriend and we were scheduled to meet her parents."

"Today?"

"Yeah, I think Tara is already there," Josh said.

"Then what are you doing here with me? You should join them; they are surely waiting for you."

"Toby said even I had to grow up," Josh gave a non sequitur.

"Yeah, that sounds like Toby," Donna said with a fond smile.

"Yeah, I realized I'm not in love with Tara, I've never been," he added. "So I thought I shouldn't be in a relationship which leads to nowhere."

Donna didn't dare to hope. Not anymore. Not after three years. But how else could she interpret his sudden appearance?

"Josh, why did you come to me now?"

"I told you I found the book," Josh said. "It made me see what I threw away by being stubborn."

"I see. Well, you missed so much, Josh. Where should I begin?"

"You could tell me why you have a baby seat in your car," Josh told her quietly.

"Okay, I would like to state three things first," Donna started.

"Okay," Josh agreed.

"One, I don't want to be late for home so if you wanted to get out I would really appreciate you did it when we arrived. Two, I can be stubborn too. And three, when I learned I was pregnant I really thought you would come look for me a little sooner," Donna said and then risked a look sideways. Josh was putting the puzzle together.

"So you basically say that I have a child whom I could have known right from the birth but since you were just as stubborn as me I missed the first steps and the first words?" Josh asked, his eyes fixed at something on the windshield. Donna desperately wanted to see his eyes, to read his thoughts, but he didn't give her the chance.

"Yes," Donna said simply. "A daughter."

"And when did we conceive this child?" Josh asked, still not looking at Donna.

"After I took you home from the hospital three Christmases ago," Donna said.

"I always thought that was a dream just like the other three hundred I had about us," Josh said.

"You asked me that night if it was another dream," Donna responded in a whisper.

"And why didn't I remember it happened?" Josh asked.

"They gave you some pretty good painkillers," Donna reminded him, "and you always had a sensitive system," she added, hoping to get some kind of reaction or recognition. He still sounded rather detached.

"Yeah," Josh said, with not even a hint of a smile on his face. "What's her name?"

"Hannah Sophia," Donna said.

"Hannah was my grandmother's name," Josh said in a whisper.

"I know," Donna said, risking a smile. "Sophia was my grandmother's name."

"And what's her family name?"

"Moss. But she knows you are her father," Donna hurried to add.

"How?"

"Well, I showed her pictures, and she saw you on TV," Donna asked. "I taped your TV appearances."

"Is my name on the birth certificate?" Josh asked.

"Yes, Josh."

"Okay," Josh nodded, seemingly reassured. "What is she doing right now?"

"I guess she is watching Sesame Street," Donna said, looking down at her watch. "That's pretty much the only thing she is allowed to watch."

Josh nodded and then fell silent. Donna was worried but hoped he would get over it. Right now, she really felt stupid for not letting Josh know that he had a daughter and she cursed whatever god was responsible for stubbornness. She remembered the hurt she felt when she realized that Josh wasn't going to come after her. First, she gave him two weeks. Then a month, then six months. She never gave up hope, but she didn't imagine it would take him almost three years and two failed relationships.

"She doesn't know her family name yet, and I promised Leo I would contact you before it came to teaching her that," she piped up a good ten minutes later.

"Leo knew about my daughter?" Josh asked incredulously.

"Don't you dare getting hostile, Joshua!" Donna warned him. "I asked for a letter a recommendation from Leo, and he agreed but only if I met him. I don't know why but he wanted to see my home; he wanted to see where I live before he gave me the letter. So he met Hannah."

"The traitor," Josh muttered under his breath.

"I made them promise, Josh," Donna said, cringing at the pronoun. She was sure Josh noticed, but maybe it was the best. "I threatened them to move back to Wisconsin if they ever told you before I had a chance to tell you."

"You wanted to tell me when?" Josh redirected his anger back at her.

"Next year," Donna said.

"Okay," Josh said, his voice indicating that he not quite believed her.

"I wanted to before her third birthday, Josh. I wanted to tell you this Christmas, but I knew you were together with Tara and I didn't want to ruin your chance with her by dumping the news on the two of you."

"You are very considerate," Josh said bitterly.

"Okay, I need you not to act like you are the moral police or something," Donna said. She really tried to imagine what she would do in such a situation, she really tried to be understanding, but by now she was boiling. Couldn't Josh see that she needed his understanding? That she needed him?

"You kept me away from my daughter! You kept my mother away from the only grandchild she has!" Josh shouted.

"That's only fifty percent true," Donna whispered.

"What?" Josh cried out.

"Your mother knows your daughter. They adore each other," Donna said.

"My mother knew about her too?"

"I told you I made them promise, I told you I threatened them," Donna said.

"How did my mother know?" Josh asked then, seemingly calmed down, but Donna knew he was boiling underneath.

"Well, I moved to New York City after I left the D.C., and we ran into each other when I made a weekend trip to Westport. I wanted to see where you grew up," Donna added in a whisper. "I was already showing, and I was pretty emotional during my pregnancy, hormones, you know. It didn't take her too much to have me in a crying fit, spilling my guts to her. I was just contemplating moving back to Wisconsin, realizing that my savings won't be enough until I was able to find a job again. That's why I sold the book too. Your mom offered me her support, and I accepted it. I was stubborn and I had my pride too, but I knew I needed help. When Leo visited he wanted to help too, but I told him I didn't need anything else but that letter of recommendation. I was already looking for a job as an assistant, and Leo must have asked around because one day he phoned me and told me to go to the Mayor's office, his chief of staff was looking for an assistant who knew something about policy and legislative affairs," Donna recounted.

"He is lucky to have you," Josh said, the bitterness still present in his voice.

"He wanted me to come back to D.C.," Donna said. "I mean Leo," she clarified. "He tried numerous times. But I was being stubborn."

"I see," Josh said.

"One more thing," Donna said.

"I noticed where we are going, Donna," Josh said after a sigh. "You live with my mom in Westport," he stated.

"Yeah," Donna confirmed.

"She begged me to come to visit," he whispered. "And she didn't nag me about grandchildren anymore."

"Why didn't you come?"

"She always liked you. I didn't want to answer endless questions about why you left and why I let you. The phone calls were enough. And she came to visit me every year. So that's why she didn't move to Florida like she planned," Josh guessed.

"Yeah."

"She told me a good friend of hers needed her at home."

"Yes, we needed her. She was fantastic, Josh, she is fantastic. I really don't know what I would have done without her," Donna admitted.

"Probably moved back to Wisconsin, and I would have never met my daughter."

"Josh, I swear to you I would have told you before her third birthday," Donna said, tears appearing in her eyes. She quickly blinked them back, she couldn't allow being emotional while she was driving.

"I hope you know that I want full access to my daughter, Donna," Josh said in a cold voice.

"Josh, let's not become vindictive and hostile," Donna said. "Don't threaten me, and I won't threaten you. I know the game, you taught me well. You want full access, you get full access. I don't want to play the blame game either, let's agree that we are both to blame."

"How did you explain my absence to her?" Josh asked in a low voice.

"Well, I told her you had a very important job, that you had to help the President," Donna said.

"Okay, I try not to threaten you, Donna, but you are aware of the fact that you live in Westport while I live in the D.C."

"For two more years," Donna said with a nod.

"I never did anything else but politicking, Donna. I could never practice law," Josh warned her.

"You could be the Mayor's chief of staff," Donna said. "Although I would lose my job in that case. Okay then, you could work for the Governor."

"Yeah, he lives in Albany, a two hour drive from Westport," Josh said.

"I can't move back to the D.C., Josh, it will end your career," Donna said. "And I wouldn't find a job there. It's bad as it is that Zack knows about us."

"You don't think he is running to the rags with the news that Donna Moss and Josh Lyman are old friends?"

"Oh, please! It's enough he blabs in a bar and some journalist picks it up. They only have to know where I live and they can piece it together from then on," Donna said. "I can see the headlines, 'Lyman stashed his mistress and their love child at his mothers while he was off gallivanting with Amy Gardner and Tara Turner.'"

"Yeah," Josh said. "Would you be willing to move back to the D.C.?" he asked then.

"You can't marry me just because of that," Donna said, quickly understanding his intent.

"Oh, but I can," Josh said in a cold voice and let out a bitter chuckle. Donna wanted to protest, but he raised his hand to silence her. "Anyway, you are not my favorite person right now, but I never loved anyone else, not Amy, not Tara. It was always you, it's still you."

"I changed a lot, Josh," Donna inserted, although she just wanted to return the confession. Not that it was the most romantic thing she ever heard, but it still caused her heart swell with emotions.

"I'm sure you are still the old loving and caring Donna I fell in love with. Someone who is compassionate, someone who is always helpful, someone who believes that people can be good, someone who is forgiving," Josh said.

"I guess so," Donna said, barely able to hide how touched she was. She didn't know Josh loved her, she didn't know Josh loved her because of all that.

"I would like to learn the new Donna, but we don't have the luxury of time," Josh said. "We are going to get married and then you'll move back to Washington D.C. with me."

"Josh!" Donna let out frustrated. "You can't do that! You can't tell me what to do and then expect me to do it. I'm not at your beck and call. And I certainly won't marry you because you ordered me to."

"Oh, but you will, Donatella," Josh said, his voice colder than before, and Donna felt a chill run down her spine. "'Cause if you won't we'll go to the court, and I won't be nice there."

"Okay, I told you not to play this game. But you wanted it, you get it," Donna said, her anger getting the better of her. "'Your honor, I didn't tell him he had a daughter because he told me to sleep with him if I wanted to get a raise. I didn't want to report it because I didn't want to destroy his career but…"

"You wouldn't say that," Josh said with a grin.

"No, I wouldn't, but I swear to God, Josh, if you ever tried to get between my child and me you are not going to know what hit you," Donna told him.

"I wouldn't," Josh said.

"I know. And now, let's talk like responsible adults. I won't marry you, but I'm ready to get together with CJ and do whatever she tells me is necessary to spin this."

"I don't want to spin my family," Josh said a bit petulantly.

"Neither do I, but we have to. You want to see a picture of your daughter?" Donna asked her to deflect his attention from that direction.

"You have pictures and you only tell me now?"

"I thought you'd ask for them," Donna whispered.

"I thought it's only fathers who are carrying pictures of their children around," Josh said with a gentle smile.

"How are Molly and Huck?"

"Toby says they are okay. Have you ever met them?"

"I met Toby once," Donna said. "He was visiting with his brother's family, I think. Before you ask, he didn't meet Hannah."

"Okay," Josh said with a smile. "I think we should put the past behind us and concentrate on the present."

"Okay," Donna agreed hastily. "You are not going to give your mother a hard time about this, are you, Josh?"

"I'll try not to. But you know me, Donna. Passive-aggressive is my way to deal with things," Josh said sincerely.

"Yeah, I know that," Donna said with a hint of a smile on her face, and then asked Josh to get her wallet. After retrieving it, Josh pulled out the picture. He studied it for long before he spoke up.

"We are going to make sure that it works, right?" Josh asked unsurely.

"Yes, Josh, we are going to make it work," Donna agreed.

"I can't wait to meet her," Josh said then excitedly.

"Oh, Josh!" Donna exclaimed with a smile she reserved for him. "I love you so much," she blurted it out then.

"You love me?" Josh asked in amazement.

"Why else would I have had sex with you?" Donna asked him perplexed.

"I don't know. Because you felt pity for me?" he asked hesitantly.

"No, Josh. I never pitied you. I felt sorry for you, I felt your pain, I felt helpless but never in my life… Although that's not true," she said then with an apologetic smile.

"Carrick, right?" Josh asked then.

"Yeah," Donna admitted. "But Josh, he would have defected without your 'contribution' too."

"Maybe. I missed you so much, Donna. Did you know I had an intern?"

"I thought Leo agreed to the 'no-interns for Josh' rule," Donna said with a grin.

"Yeah, me too, but obviously he rescinded that agreement," Josh said. "Although, I have to say that Ryan Pierce is the person who stayed with me the longest after you resigned."

"Yeah, Leo mentioned something about your winning attitude towards assistants," Donna teased him.

"I have a secretary now who handles the phones but I set my own schedule. All the other assistants from Operations do research for me, but they are not you. In the first months, I had the florist and the deli near my place on speed-dial, I had to send out so many fruit baskets and flowers for missed meetings or for being unprepared," Josh said.

"But you coped."

"Not that well," Josh said. "I have to admit, I didn't want to. The really important meetings, Margaret or Ginger know about them. They handle me pretty well."

"Yeah," Donna said. "I wanted to stay for a while, to train my replacement but I feared I might show early and I didn't want that. Hey, I have an idea!"

"Yes?" Josh asked, his voice indicating that he was looking forward hearing this idea of hers with trepidation.

"Charlie once told me that he and the President had an agreement. Once he finished Georgetown he would have to leave his job as his body man. He must be finished by now," Donna wondered.

"Yeah, almost finished. He told me he is dragging his feet," Josh said with a grin.

"You could call the President from the house and tell him you want Charlie as your personal assistant," Donna said.

"I admit it's a good idea, but I don't think Charlie would find it all that fantastic. He wants to stay till the end," Josh said.

"Yeah, that's why you have to call the President."

"They are in New Hampshire right now. I'll call him after Christmas," Josh gave in.

"Okay," Donna said with a nod. "May I call your mother to tell her we are coming?"

"May I? It would be a nice repay for not telling me, and I think I wouldn't have to give her a hard time after that," Josh said.

"You take full responsibility for any fallout?"

"I do," Josh said with a grin and dialed her mother's cell phone. "Hi, Mom," he greeted her. "Yeah, I was in New York but I broke up with Tara and I thought I would visit with you for a while, you don't mind, do you?"

"Josh," Donna warned him in a whisper.

Josh gave her a sheepish grin but then went on.

"I'm already on my way, Mom," he said then and waited for her response. "You are not at home? Tell your friends your son is coming home, I'm sure they don't mind you ditching them for me."

"Oh, Josh," Donna muttered, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"Okay, Mom, I'll be there soon," Josh ended the conversation then. "Let me have my fun, Donna."

"Okay, but she will…" Donna said but was interrupted by the ringing of her own cell phone. She plugged in her headset and picked up the phone then. "Hi, Mom," she greeted her mother-in-law and saw Josh's eyebrow shoot high. "What's up?"

"I just got a call from Joshua, he told me he was on his way home," Rachel Lyman informed her.

"Really?" Donna said, still not knowing whether she should play along or spoil Josh's fun.

"Can you believe him? And he tells me he broke up with that Tara person. He had to grow up eventually," Rachel said, eliciting a laugh from Donna.

"How is Hannah?"

"She is watching Sesame Street," Rachel said. "And I didn't bake anything! Oh, Donna, what should I do?"

"I'm sure Josh won't mind the lack of biscuits, Mom. He is coming unannounced, after all," Donna said. "He will have other things on mind."

"Should I change the sheets in your bedroom, dear?" Rachel asked her with a chuckle.

"Rachel!" Donna exclaimed indignantly. "I meant his daughter."

"Sure, but I'm also quite sure he will risk a glance at you, or you know, several hundred," Rachel quipped.

"Oh, Mom, I'm sure he doesn't want to have sex with me after he learned that I kept him away from his daughter," Donna said, forgetting for a moment that Josh was in the car.

"But of course I want to have sex with you," Josh protested loudly, making both Donna and Rachel gasp.

"He is coming home with you?" Rachel found her voice first.

"Yeah. He came to the Mayor's office. Unannounced, I might add. I told him about Hannah and you and Leo," Donna confessed.

"Did you tell him you still love him?" Rachel asked.

"Yes, I told him that I still loved him," Donna confirmed.

"Good. I'm going to change the sheets in your bedroom then," Rachel said with another chuckle and then hung up.

"She is changing the sheets in my bedroom," Donna complained to Josh.

"Good," Josh said. "'Cause I want to make love to you, and this time I'll remember every detail."

"Okay," Donna agreed in an even voice, not wanting to betray her eagerness. "But I should remind you I haven't had sex for three years."

"You… haven't?" Josh asked back in amazement.

"No, I haven't," Donna confirmed. "A baby is not exactly conducive to having that kind of activity."

Josh didn't have anything to say to that. They sat in silence until Donna parked the car in the garage. After climbing out, Josh retrieved his backpack. They were on their way in, but then he stopped Donna.

"Wait!"

"What's up? Cold feet?"

"No. I bought you a Christmas present, and I even have a gift for mom, but I didn't bring anything for my daughter," Josh said.

"Well, considering you didn't even know of her existence, I don't think that's a big offence," Donna said.

"But…"

"Besides, I think that getting a Daddy is a good enough Christmas gift for any little girl."

"Thank you, Donna," Josh said then and leaning over, he kissed her. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Joshua," Donna returned the confession and then gave him a big smile. She opened the door and stepped into the house.

"Mommy!" Hannah came barreling out of the living room.

"Hi, honey," Donna picked her up and showered her face with kisses. "I missed you so much."

Donna smiled when she noticed that the two most important persons in her life were eyeing each other nervously. Then almost in the same moment Hannah reached out for Josh, and Josh reached out for Hannah. She handed her daughter over to him and watched touched as he buried his face in her long curls.

"Daddy," the little girl whispered.

"Hi, precious," Josh greeted his daughter the first time.

**THE END**


End file.
